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I Lost to Life

13 May 2010 5,670 Views 11 Comments

There are only two kind of professionals in this universe. One who falls in the category of “Do what you love and love what you do”….. Second, who follows “Forced to do what they are doing”. And I am absolutely sure no-one from IT Sector is blessed with the privilege of being in first category. Unfortunately I am one among the later one. I am working with one of the biggest IT Service Company in India (Once upon a time it was, I am not updated with the latest ranking) as a Business Analyst or BA (though after 3 years of experience I still don’t know what exactly a BA do). This was just a FYI. Those who don’t know what this “FYI” is, please ignore. It doesn’t matter actually (this is again a FYI). After 2 years of IIT-JEE preparation and a respectable rank followed by B. Tech. and MBA, one deserves at least a funky designation like Business Analyst.

Till 10th honestly speaking, I never ever thought what I am going to do for living. Then eventually I discovered my interest towards Hotel Management. Yes I wanted to do Hotel Management. But my father had entirely different view. He wanted me to become a doctor or engineer. Thank God he gave some choice at least. For me being a doctor was like marrying Aishwarya and Katrina at the same time and going Mount Everest for Honeymoon. Biological terms were so unpronounceable for me. So I decided to go for Engineering and start preparing for IIT-JEE. Rest of the career graph you already know by previous paragraph. And I know you are least interested in going into details. All this was just a background and completely FYI. Damn…I am so used of using this word.

So coming to the current situation, I am still to discover what I am doing. Sometime I perform a role of presales consultant, sometimes functional tester, sometimes a technical consultant and sometimes a role which is described as a BA responsibility in various online sources. So in professional terms I am a techno-functional consultant. Sounds a bit more funky designation. Honestly speaking I don’t love to work in any of these roles. So what I love to do? No one ask me this except the I inside me. I want to be with my family all the time. I want to be with my friends with whom I grown up. I want to spend at least a month in my village with no cell phone, no internet, no emails, no meetings, and no professional politics. But I can’t do that and I know this. I have to be here, some 1500 KMs away from my family.

Yes I am earning a good sum of money but what’s the use if I am not able to spend it with the ones who made me capable enough. I have free time on weekends but what’s the use if I am not able to spend it with the friends I love to be with. I can get a job in my hometown or can join my family business but then, my per month earning will go down that won’t be a pleasant thing for me or my parents. I am used of materialistic things in life that won’t be available in my small hometown. There are many such restrictions that are continuously transforming me from a human to machine. Many of us are in this same situation and feel the same. Some will disagree for sure. They might be lucky enough to be in first category or they are very much used to be like this only. People do adjust themselves according to the circumstances but somewhere in the mind they do realize that they have lost to life. Life is asking them to do something different. Something that we love to do, something we are passionate about but we are continuously doing something else in repetitive manner just like a machine.

See this is what I hate about my profession. I am enjoying myself in writing all this then suddenly my manager came from nowhere with another crap piece of work and asking me to complete before EOD. Sometimes I wonder these managers have some kind of sensors to identify our happiness and that is the time when they show up with such idiotic work. Ok so it’s time to meet yet another deadline. After all my next year appraisal is based on these deadlines only. I hope someday I will find a way to get out of all this and will do what I actually want to do. I will surely keep you posted about my feelings at that time. Till then leave me work as a well programmed machine.

With lots of love

- Rajeev

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11 Comments »

  • On 14 May 2010 at 12:34 AM
    Pankaj Verma said:

    Nice One :)
    The day we are born we have been told dat Life is a race and since then we start walking, without knowing where we are going and for what we are walking.. and this race in life never ends, it ends only with life.. Perhaps in between this walk/race we stop for a moment and think what we are doing it mite b possible that we may lag in race but we may get what we really want.. But thats d problem we never stop for thinking and when we stop we realise that we have left the life far behind.. We have only one life to live so live it to its fullest bcoz its true dat everyone dies but not everyone truely lives..:)

    Reply to this comment

  • On 14 May 2010 at 12:52 AM
    Rajeev said:

    very well said dude…i totally agree

    Reply to this comment

  • On 14 May 2010 at 7:39 AM
    Pawan Verma » Blog Archive » Hustle Bustle said:

    [...] alarm always wake me up at 7:00 and after snoozing, I get up at 7:20. I have just read the blog of one of my friends and started feeling how different and yet how similar the lives have [...]

  • On 14 May 2010 at 2:34 PM
    Purushottam said:

    Wah dude wah dude… sahi hai. Par kisi ko batana mat… :-)

    Reply to this comment

  • On 14 May 2010 at 5:34 PM
    Rajeev said:

    kya nahi batana be? kya to bhi comment maarta hai

    Reply to this comment

  • On 15 May 2010 at 7:18 PM
    kamlesh said:

    nice post sirji ..feeling the same. still remember college lyf with no tension and worries.

    Reply to this comment

  • On 15 May 2010 at 11:38 PM
    Anupam Singh said:

    Awesome Post …. nothing can beat it Man …

    you have penned down the story of millions of IT professionals so meticulously ….

    I have seen my father, he is till working and at the same time he easily manages to attend distant and close family functions and maintains a strong social circle. But I cannot even think of that along with the kind and nature of my job and industry I am into …..

    And now being a father, I wonder if I could be able to raise my son the way my father did and spend enough time with him.

    You truly said that you or we can get a job in our hometown or can join our my family business (in your case) but then, we will have to compromise with our earning and materialistic life we are used and this might not be a pleasant thing for us or our parents. But then, we will have to introspect to understand that what we are losing and what are we gaining in long run and how much the stuffs that we are losing and gaining are important to us and which one should be given higher priority. Our parents also did not enjoy the life of metro cities and other materialistic things, but during the journey of their life they successfully raised and nurtured us and infused ethics and values in us which would always be a weapon for us to fight against the odds of life. This is what they gained while compromising with the standard of life. They could have also bought a Car and afford an AC during the early years of their career, but they abstained. They set their priority for their long term vision.

    Probably we also need to identify our’s.

    Reply to this comment

  • On 16 May 2010 at 1:02 AM
    www.upmaan.com » Blog Archive » Life Becoming a Mess said:

    [...] I try to make it a point to add some or the other article to my blog every week and at the same time I wait for something to inspire me to pen down my thoughts. In principle, this post is an outcome of a noetic stir  created by a friend’s blog. [...]

  • On 16 May 2010 at 1:27 AM
    Anupam Singh said:

    bhai… u inspired me to write this ….

    http://upmaan.com/2010/05/15/life-becoming-a-mess/

    Reply to this comment

  • On 22 May 2010 at 11:53 AM
    Rahul said:

    so truee…leading the life of a second hander fueled with all the false illusions can not satisfy ourselves and eventually our loved ones in the long run…This tendency of manufactured career “even for the ones who are still in liquid form” doesnt do justice to their existence..May be this is why our society is so great in nurturing labors rather then producing passionate people or leaders..

    Reply to this comment

  • On 30 May 2010 at 7:18 PM
    Rajeev Ranjan said:

    Sharmaji ka comment paakar mera blog dhanya hua :P

    Reply to this comment

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