Bonding with Unborn
Since my marriage on Dec 1st, I was very determined about having a baby as soon as possible. Luckily my wife had similar thoughts on expanding our family. She wanted to have a baby before she turns 30 and I wanted to have few years left to my retirement before my kid turn 30. This might sound silly and very long term planning but this is how it was for me. I love kids and I wanted to have one that is my own.
It was sometime mid March (Probably March 16th. Wifey – Correct me if I am wrong), when I saw two parallel lines on PregaNews in my house. Honestly speaking, that moment there was no expression on my face. Probably because I was half-sleepy-half-awake or I find it too good to be true. “Yes! I did it. I am going to be a father” – This was internal reaction. Few moments later I hugged my wife and congratulated her.
Then it was first ultrasound scan. “Bla! Bla! Bla!…and Look here. Here is your baby” – Doctor said, pointing towards one of many dark spots on screen and I was like “Hain! Where?” This was my reaction of excitement mixed with desperation to get first glimpse of my baby (Technically fetus but I like to call baby). Trust me, ultrasound scans are most exciting part of pregnancy. I used to stare screen without blinking every time we go for scan. And I believe this was obvious. I mean who doesn’t get excited to see development of his product.
A Baby continuously makes you feel her presence and growth by growing belly. I find it most exciting and interesting to know changes in the baby every passing week. Now baby has visible ears. This week baby has developed this this organs. Now baby has developed smell and hearing senses. And the list gets new additions every week. I don’t remember how many videos I seen on YouTube about weekly development of the baby. I liked the way they show new development every week and compare baby size with some vegetable or fruit or some other object. How can I forget the heartbeat? Its magical. Truly it is. Baby’s heartbeat sound like she is saying “Hey Dad! What’s up? Having fun Haan?”
My wife often complains that I don’t bond with our baby and I don’t talk to her. And I don’t know how to tell her that I do. I always do. Only thing is I am not very expressive in this case. I love the way her heartbeat sounds. I love the way her kicks vibrate your belly. I get restless when you don’t feel any movement for a long time. I feel relaxed when doctor say everything is just fine. Why it is necessary to express everything I feel? I understand your excitement for our baby and your expectations from me being her father. But few things are beyond words my love. They are feelings. Just feelings.