I, You and Fate
“Hey come here. I want to tell you something. Actually I want you to read a story” – I said to my wife.
“What story? Whose story? Who wrote it?” – She replied with a series of questions.
“Your husband’s story and I wrote it” – I replied
“You wrote it? I don’t have free time to waste” – She openly insulted my writing skills on just third day of wedding. And I gave her a disgusting look.
“Ok ok I am coming. Where is the story?” – She said and started reading it.
I was sitting in my hostel room, studying for my last semester exams starting next morning, when my cell phone rang. It was a female voice from other end. I hung up the call in few minutes, threw the phone in frustration and fell on the bed motionless and lost. I opened the wardrobe and took out a packet with some letters in it. With shivering hands, I opened one letter and started reading it. I don’t know how many times I read those five letters in next few hours. Millions of tear drops rolled through my eyes while I was continuously looking at the ceiling. Every single second of last few months flashed in front of my eyes……
“Rohan! I am going to my village for Diwali. Why don’t you come with me? You never been to a village and you have your semester break holidays as well. So, you will get bored here.” – Ravi said.
For me it was like impossible to say no to Ravi. We were best friends since I was 2-3 years old. I asked my parents for permission and packed my bag. I was super excited to see a totally different kind of life style and was expecting a really nice time at village. I reached village late evening, totally unaware that this first village trip is going to change my life forever. It was dark everywhere. No prize for guessing, there was no electricity in the village. I was totally lost in that darkness. So I better thought of taking early dinner and go to bed. Sleeping arrangement was awesome, a bed on the roof top under stars. Welcome to village life…I said to myself and closed my eyes.
“Hey! Who is this prince sleeping here till so late?” – She said while pulling the bedsheet that I used to cover myself sometime in the midnight due to cold.
“Who is this? Let me sleep” – I said in frustration while rubbing my half opened eyes. With those half closed eyes, I saw a beautiful girl looking at me in strange with mouth wide open. I guess she was totally unaware of this guest in the house.
In the next minute I saw another beauty of nature, Sun rising from other side of farm. It was 6 in the morning and this was probably the first time I was looking at rising sun.
“Good Morning” – I said to the girl whose mouth was still open.
By evening I guess she had collected all my biographical and geographical information. And honestly speaking I did the same. There was something in those eyes. I was never so desperate to know details of a girl. She was third among the five daughters of a farmer residing in the next house. Her marriage was fixed to some farmer and wedding was scheduled in eight months or so.
“Lucky bastard” – I praised would be groom’s fortune.
Generally in villages, people don’t wait so long for wedding date once it is finalized but in Megha’s case, this delay was due to some rule in their family that two weddings can’t take place in a year.
“What a silly rule” – I laughed in my mind.
It was not like she was exceptionally beautiful or something but those eyes had some magic for sure. Even though I knew she is already engaged, I was getting a feeling like I never felt before.
Slowly we started interacting with each other and we became really good friends in those 12 days that I spent in village. Megha was full of life and a funny girl. We used to do some random talks without any sense. I was totally enjoying her company. Finally the day came when I had to say bye to her. I was coming back to home and I had no idea when I am going to see this face again in my life. With heavy heart I said bye to her when she gave me a flower and requested me to come again very soon with her trademark sweet and innocent smile.
Thanks to career demands, i got busy with studies but Megha was totally alive in some corner of my mind. Sometimes I looked like a mad when i found myself smiling without a reason. A mere thought of Megha or her silly talk was more than enough to make me smile. That was a totally different phase of life when you don’t need anyone to be happy and you find yourself in totally new world where everything is so beautiful and is full of happiness. Even though you know that this happiness is false and there is no future of this relationship.
While i was enjoying life of that world, my sister’s wedding got fixed. Guests started coming to my place. So here came good time once again. One fine day when i came back home after evening cricket, i saw Megha was there. It was so pleasant surprise that i didn’t know how to react and i was continuously smiling like an idiot. But i didn’t mind being an idiot as long as Megha is with me. It’s been hardly an hour she was here but she was looking like she is staying here for years. She came with my aunty and then suddenly i looked at aunty with tons of love and respect like never before. On the other hand Megha was doing her favorite job….talking. Once she was done with talking session with my sister, she took charge of kitchen and i was dying for my turn to spend some quality time with her and have one to one talk with her. And finally i got that time very late night.
“So finally miss busy bee got some free time for me. How much time do you have…10 minutes?” – I said with some false anger.
“No…2 minutes. First take your dinner” – she said with a smile and tapped my hand.
“I don’t want your 2 minutes. I don’t want to talk to you. And I am full” – I tried to extend my acting a little further.
“Megha! Let’s go to sleep. We have to get up early tomorrow” – my sister called her.
“See you don’t even have 2 minutes for me. Go and sleep. I don’t want to eat anything” – this time I said in frustration.
She made a disappointed expression and left. Now I was cursing myself for wasting these one and half minute.
Next early morning I left for a nearby town to bring my cousin. When I returned back late evening, my mother called me.
“What happened between you and Megha?” – My mother asked.
“Nothing. Why? – I replied in confusion.
“Last night she said she will take dinner with you and then she slept without eating anything. You said something to her Right?” – My mother questioned.
“Why can’t you speak politely? You know, she didn’t eat anything since then. Now go and say sorry to her” – my mother ordered.
Now I was seriously feeling sorry for being rude to her. Why she care for me so much? Does she like me? Does she love me? No no how can she love me. Then why she is doing all this for me? So many questions run through my mind in that fraction of second. We were meeting after a month and it was our second meeting but still she cares for me this much. This was the first time I started thinking about her in a different way. Does she have a similar kind of feeling for me?
I got the answer very soon when she secretly took my hand in her while watching DDLJ on TV that night. A current run through my whole body and I was feeling like the luckiest person on planet. I loved the movie like never before and it became my most favorite movie for altogether a different reason.
“Yes she likes me. But she is getting married in six months. Then why is she doing all this? She wants to tell me something? Will she break her engagement and will marry me? But how this can happen? Why not? She is not married yet. Let’s give it a try.” – I wonder how easy it is to come to a decision when you want it to happen.
Days become shorter when you start enjoying it. Her departure date came sooner than expected and I was in no mood to spend a second without her. She ordered me to call her regularly and asked me to give her my college address. That was the first time I saw those eyes wet and so was mine.
I traveled again some 1000 kms to get an engineering degree with a strong motivation that this college will enable me to become professionally successful and a small probability to spend a happy life with Megha. I kept both my promises of calling her regularly and sending her my hostel address. After like 10 days I got one letter from her. Trust me… even in the age of emails, getting letter is special. I won’t call it a love letter but those two words “Dear Rohan” and “Your Megha” were the most romantic words for me. I read those two words like hundred times and I was literally blushing the whole day.
“Yes she definitely love me and I should talk to my parents on this. But they will get angry for sure and it is not going to be so easy” – I said to myself.
In all her letters, she used to ask the same question. When I am coming to her village and I had no answer to that. One day she asked the same during call and I just gave her a random date. I don’t know why did I said that but I didn’t want to disappoint her. She got happy after doing some calculation that I was going to meet her exactly after 22 days.
As expected, I didn’t go to her village on scheduled date and I didn’t have courage to tell the same to Megha. But very soon I got a month off and all I wanted is to be with Megha. I planned my holidays to spend first 10 days at her village and rest of time at home. I expected her to be angry with me for not coming on decided date but to my surprise, she welcomed me with a smile and behaved like nothing has happened. That was what I loved most in her. She never demanded anything from me and gave me all her love and care.
Next day when I was sitting in her room, I saw some lines drawn on the wall. I started making fun of it that Megha has started learning black magic or something. Megha didn’t say anything and left the room with a smile. Her friend gave me a disgusting look and I gave her a surprised look.
“Do you really want to know what these lines are for?” – She said
“Does Megha draw these lines for some reason?” – I asked.
“Yes! Do you remember when you told her that you are coming here, how many days were left? Now try to remember the number of days and then count the number of lines drawn.” – She said with the maximum amount of emotions a girl can generate.
Now there was no need to count the number of lines. And I was forced to feel embarrassed without my fault.
“Do you still want to know how much she waited for you” – she thrown the next lot of emotions that she collected.
I had nothing to say. So I just left the room. Megha was playing some silly girlish game outside. What kind of girl she is? So childish yet so emotional and mad about me.
“I am going to marry this girl and that’s final” – I said to myself.
On the last day before leaving for my home, I asked her to meet me on the roof of her friend’s house in evening. She came with sugarcane in her hand.
“Throw this sugarcane. I want to say something very important to you.” – I said while looking those beautiful eyes.
“Don’t say anything. You are going back tomorrow morning. Don’t know when we are going to meet again. So just sit beside me without asking anything” – She ordered with heavy voice while holding my hands.
“But I have to say something very important” – I insisted.
“Please don’t say anything. Can’t we talk later?” – She said and I agreed.
At that moment what I saw in her eyes, there was love for me and sadness of being parted next morning. In next half an hour we hardly exchanged a word but that is the most special moment for me and will always be. That was a sleepless night for both of us. And I left next morning with an excitement of finding daughter-in-law for my mother.
“Mom! I want to have a very important discussion with you. What if I say I like a girl and want to marry her right after my engineering and most importantly she is of our caste only” – I don’t know why but I preferred to say everything in a single sentence.
“What are you saying? Who is she?” – She looked surprised.
“Megha” – I just took the name.
“What? Have you gone mad? Don’t you know her wedding is already fixed? Stop this and go to your room” – She ordered.
“I know she is engaged. But she not married Right? Engagements do break.” – I suggested an option.
“Don’t be childish. This is just an infatuation son. She is the first girl you met so you are feeling like this. Now stop all this and don’t create a drama on this” – She rejected my suggestion without consideration.
“No…this is not infatuation and I took this decision after thinking so much. And your first girl theory is invalid as Megha is third.” – I again made a point.
“What? Who are the other two?” – She looked surprised.
“That’s not the point. Point is…I know I will be happy with Megha and I want to marry her. Can’t you just talk to Papa on this?” – I said in frustration.
“No…I am not going to talk to anyone on your stupid decision. That’s a village not city. There society is very small. It’s impossible for a girl’s father to break engagement. It will ruin their family image infront of the whole village and then who will marry their other two daughters? “– She said in a bit emotional tone that can make anyone change his decision.
“Mom….Please try to understand. I really like her. Please give it a try” – I almost begged.
“No son. This is just not possible. Why don’t you understand? Don’t be so selfish. If you want I can talk to them for Megha’s younger sister. She is also pretty” – She suggested
“What non sense? This is not any exchange program. I am talking about Megha.” – I said irritated.
“That can’t happen and you need to understand this. I don’t want to discuss this any further.” – She made the conversation over and out.
“Rohan! Are you sleeping? Let’s go to canteen. I missed the lunch and now I am feeling hungry.” – Praveen shouted while knocking the door.
“No I am reading for tomorrow’s exam. Wait…I will also come.” – I replied.
I put the letters back to wardrobe, cleaned the tears from my face, and opened the door with my trademark smile. This is how they had seen me in all these four years. We all left for canteen.
“What Rohan… Is anything wrong between you and Megha? She stopped loving you or what?” – Praveen said
“Ha ha ha… It’s nothing like that” – I replied with a fake smile. That was probably the best expression I was able to give with that state of mind.
“It’s been ages she haven’t send you a letter. Please ask bhabhiji to send a letter so that we can get sixth party from you.” – This time Manish said and everyone laughed except Nikhil. Nikhil was continuously looking at me or probably he sensed the sadness in my eyes.
We returned back to hostel in two hours. I was again in my room and tried hard to stop tears from falling down but failed.
“Rohan! Still crying?” – Nikhil said while entering my room that night.
“I am not crying” – I replied in heavy voice.
“Do you want me to turn on the lights and see or we can talk in dark? It’s because of Megha right?” – He asked.
“She is getting married in two days. And don’t ask anything else at present. I will talk to you on this sometime later” – I replied
“As you wish. Talk to me whenever you feel comfortable. I am always here for you. Don’t think much and try to sleep. We have exam tomorrow at 10″ – He left and I again lost in past.
“Mom! Have you talked to Papa about Megha” – I asked over the phone.
“That stupidity is still on your mind. I already told you I am not going to talk to anyone on this and you too stop thinking about her and concentrate on your studies” – She replied.
“To hell with studies. Why don’t you understand? If you won’t do anything, then it’s fine. I will talk to Megha’s father” – I said in frustration.
“No…you are not going to do anything like that. Please don’t do anything that will let your parents down” – She replied.
“I will. I can’t let her marry someone else without even trying” – I said and cut the phone and immediately dialed Megha’s number
“Hey Rohan! What a pleasant surprise. You finally got time to call me” – She said in joy
“I want to talk to your father and don’t ask me why” – I said
“He is here. I am giving phone to him” – She replied and handed phone to his father.
“Hello! How are you? How are your studies going? When are you coming here again?” – He asked
“I am good uncle. Studies are going good. Few months and I will be an engineer. I got a very good job offer and I will get 30,000 per month” – I don’t know why but found it necessary to tell him my salary amount.
“That’s great news son. Your parents must be proud of you”- He appreciated the news
“Uncle…I called you for an important thing. Let me come to the point straight away. I love Megha and want to marry her” – I exploded the bomb.
“What!!! Why you want to marry her? I mean her marriage is already fixed and I guess you know this. By the time you will complete your engineering, she will get married. Don’t embarrass me son” – He said loud and clear
“Yes I know. But I can be a better husband for her and I love her” – I said
“This can’t happen. I will talk to your parents straight away and will ask them to control their son. I can’t break this wedding. You will marry Megha but then who will marry my other two daughters? Don’t try call Megha again” – He said and cut the phone.
“Shit! What I did? Why nobody is trying to understand? Why this old man doesn’t understand her daughter will be happy with me?” – I said to myself in irritation
I tried calling Megha again but she didn’t pick up. After some ten minutes my phone rang. It was Ravi. I was in mood to talk to him so I rejected the call. He called again and again and put my phone on silent. Then I got a message from Ravi.
“See Rohan. I don’t know what made you think that Megha’s parents will agree to your wedding with her. I respect your emotions but whatever you are doing is wrong. Stop all this right now or you will lose your best friend. Megha’s parents are blaming me for bringing you here. They are saying wrong things about your parents that they can’t control their son and all. Happy Now?”
My phone rang again. This time mom. I picked up.
“Mom! I know what you have to say. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I will call whenever I will feel like” – I said and cut the phone.
Ten days passed and I didn’t talk to anyone. I did try calling Megha but no one pick the phone and I was slowly moving in to depression. Then one day I got a call from Mom.
“Hi Mom! I will call you later” – I said and tried to disconnect
“Hey listen… I have good news for you. We talked to Megha’s parents and they have postponed her wedding till your engineering and then we will decide how to handle all this. We will find out a way don’t worry. Now happy?” – She said
“You are not lying right?” – I was unable to believe what I heard
“We are doing so much for you and you just don’t trust us” – She replied
“No it’s not like that. I lost all my hope. That is why I am unable to believe this. Please say it again” – I said with joy.
“Yes son… this is true. You concentrate on your studies. Rest everything I will take care. Don’t worry. Where they will get a son-in-law like you” – My mother assured me.
“Yes… very true and you will not get a daughter-in-law like Megha” – I tried to be funny.
Mom smiled and disconnect the phone. And now I was relaxed about my wedding with Megha. I thanked god for finally making it happen. I immediately called Megha to double my happiness.
“Hey! Did you get the news? Everyone agreed to our wedding… very soon you will be mine.” – I said in excitement.
“Oh! I thought I am already yours.” – She mixed some naughty expression while saying this.
“What’s the matter? You look in totally different mood today.” – I asked.
“Didn’t you like it” – She smiled.
“I like whatever you say” – I tried to be romantic.
“Go and study. You have to pass all your exams and get a job. I want to be with you all the time as soon as possible” – she was expressive for the first time.
I hang the phone and I was literally dancing. Dancing with feeling of being in love. Love with the most beautiful girl in this world. Few more months passed like that and I was continuously talking to Megha and my love for her was increasing day by day. I think now it was my turn to count the number of days.
That number of days was decreasing one by one and now my final semester exams were just one month away. But then I don’t know what happened, her number was unreachable. It’s been a week I haven’t talk to Megha so I decided to ask my mother whether her number is changed or something.
“Mom…. I was trying to call Megha. Did she change her number?” – I asked.
“I am not sure. Her elder sister is expecting a baby, so Megha went to her place. It might be due to poor network signal in that village. I will try to connect.” – She replied.
“Are you hiding something? Is everything ok?” – My heartbeat was increasing.
“No…it’s nothing like that. I will try to connect and will tell her to give you a landline number. Your final semester exams are just one month away. Concentrate on you studies”- She replied.
“Ok… meantime I am also trying. Bye mom” – I hang-up
But even after so many desperate attempts I was unable to reach Megha and I got busy in my studies. Few more days passed and Megha was still so far.
“Rohan…. Tomorrow is first paper. Call me while doing the revision.” – Praveen said
“Sure…I will start after lunch. Come to my room at 2 PM” – I replied
He said ok and left. I closed the door and as I opened the book, my phone rang.
“What the hell? Who is calling me at this time?” – I pick the phone with irritation.
“Hello… Who is this?” – I asked
“Hi…This is Ankita. Megha’s friend” – Reply came from other side.
“Hey Ankita… How are you doing? Where is Megha? I am trying to call her. Her number is changed?” – I threw a series of questions
“I was right. You don’t know anything. She is getting married in two days. Megha is not allowed to step out of house. Megha said your final exams are going on so I should not tell you all this. Nothing can be done anyways. Her parents are not ready for marriage of you two.” – She was giving me the saddest news of my life and I was still not in a mind to believe it.
“This can’t be true. I talked to my parents. They promised me that Megha will be mine. She can’t live without me. Please ask Megha to call me immediately” – I was in a shock state.
“Megha can’t call you. She wrote a letter for you that I have just posted. She requested you to do nothing till you get that letter. God bless both of you” – She said.
“What do you mean by do nothing? This can’t happen. I can’t let somebody decide my fate like this. She is mine and will be mine.” – I replied and disconnected the call.
“Rohan! Open the door. We have exam at 10 AM.” – Praveen knocked the door.
“Yes I am coming” – I saw the clock. It was 8:30 AM already.
All papers of our last semester went well and my college life came to its end. But this was not the end I was waiting for since last four years. I got engineering degree and a decent job offer but all these were looking so useless because I had lost the purpose behind getting all this. Megha is a married girl now….. Married to someone else. And I didn’t even get a chance to talk to her before her wedding. This was my last night at college and I was busy packing my bags when Nikhil enter my room.
“Done with your packing and all?” – He asked
“Yes! I am leaving tomorrow early morning. When is your train?” – I replied casually
“Tomorrow noon. I am not here to discuss train timings and don’t pretend that you don’t know anything. Tell me what happened? – He came to the point straightaway.
I took out a letter from my pocket and moved it towards him. Nikhil started reading it….
I was a simple villager girl who clearly knew that she has to complete her studies up to maximum of 12th and then have to get married to a simple villager guy and spend rest of my life with him. I have always seen life of a girl like this only and I was very much ready for it. Then one fine day, you came to my life. Rohan….you remember our first meeting when I pulled your bed sheet to wake you up and you were totally frustrated on me. That time I don’t know what happened to me, I keep on looking at you. There was definitely some attraction in you and I was completely lost in it. Then I started looking for reasons to meet you and talk to you. I know you have also done so much research on me. Then we started spending time with each other and I realized that I am so much special for someone. You made me feel so special and beautiful. You gave me all your love and respect. Much more than what I thought i deserved. That feeling you will never understand. In fact no one can understand. You made me feel that I am much more than an ordinary villager girl and I also have rights to see dreams. Finding you beside me, I started seeing dreams and you turned all of them in reality. I started living in a strange world of dreams. And it all happened because you were with me…. Always, no matter what.
I cried every time you went back from my village and then I used to feel happy that we are going to meet again in few days. In your absence, I used to smile like a mad. Actually I was not a mad but you made me the one. But I had no objection in being a mad because you were there in my madness. I knew whatever I am doing is wrong because my marriage was fixed but nothing was in my control.
Then one day you I came to know that you want to marry me. I don’t remember when the last time I was so happy. I never asked so much from God even in my dreams. Then I realized that what important you wanted to tell me that night when I stopped you saying anything. But in life, everything doesn’t happen as per the plan and we have to accept it even though we don’t like the outcome. By now I guess you must be aware that why we are not getting married and why everyone hide this from you.
You were totally lost when everyone disagreed to our wedding and you took some steps that made our families almost enemies. They started blaming each other and things were getting worst day by day. You lost interest in completing your engineering and you cut off from everyone. We feared that you might come back without completing you studies and your future will be ruined. So we decided to hide my marriage news and lie to you that everyone agreed to our wedding. I am sorry for lying to you.
Please don’t be angry to your parents and don’t ask any questions to them. I know it’s hard for both of us but if everything goes as per our wish then that’s a story not a life. Our wedding had never a possibility and we have to accept this. We have shared a really nice relationship and we will continue the same till our end….i promise. We laughed together, sometimes we cried for each other, we waited for months to meet, we prayed for each other. You have given me so much of sweet memories that are enough to smile for rest of my life.
Now tell me when are coming to my village to meet me? And inform me only when you have finalized the dates and booked the tickets. Otherwise I have to wait for you as always. I have almost painted my room by drawing lines on the wall.
That’s all for now. People will start questioning when they will see me writing letter. Take good care of yourself and keep smiling. You look so nice when you smile. And yes…in case you are crying right now then please take a photo of yours and send it me. You must be looking damn funny while crying.
Please don’t come to my wedding!
“I don’t know what to say. You tried your best but we don’t get everything we want”- Nikhil said after reading the letter.
“I understand man. But I love her and I am going to miss her forever. Anyways, no point in discussing all this now. What a perfect time they have selected for the wedding. I can’t do anything except crying” – I replied with a smile.
“You talked to your parents on this?” – He asked
“Yes I did. She explained the same thing and I understood. Honestly speaking my wedding with Megha had very little possibility and I was trying my luck on that small hope” – I said.
“You ok?” – Nikhil raised his concern over me
“Yeah! I am fine” – I lied
“Your face doesn’t support your statement” – He suspected.
“Stop being a detective and let’s go to canteen. I don’t want to discuss this anymore” – I insisted
“No bloody canteen today. Let’s go to the city and have some beer. What say?” – He suggested a better idea.
“I want to meet this girl. Why haven’t you ever tell me about her?” – She said with heavy voice and moist eyes
“This is past. So didn’t feel like telling you. But today I don’t know why I told you all this. Might be because she is coming tomorrow with her mother for a doctor appointment” – I said with some hesitation.
“What? She is coming tomorrow? I want to meet her alone and I will meet her” – She said and went out of the room.
Next day Megha came and doctor confirmed her pregnancy news. We all were so happy for her but I was a bit restless by thinking about my wife’s meeting with Megha.
“How is she?” – I asked my wife at night.
“I am feeling sleepy. Just turn off the light please.” – She completely ignored my question and my heartbeat increased to its threshold limit.
“Rohan…. you know what?” – She broke the five minute silence of the room
“What?” – I asked instantly
“She still loves you” – She said and put her arms across me
I just hold her tightly in my arms and turned the lights off with so much of relief and respect for my wife.