My Soulmate Search
It was sometime late 2012 December when I decided to give-up my bachelorhood and get married. Decision was easy to make as I was very clear that my parents and other relatives has the responsibility to find a suitable girl for me and I don’t have to put much effort. Being an exceptionally lazy person, I found this a win-win situation.
My requirements for my would be soulmate was not much….I decent looking simple girl with a decent height, who know little bit of cooking and educated enough to do job if she wants to. But as things progressed, I realized I was in huge delusion that I will find one such girl through conventional process without much effort from my side.
After half-a-dozen months of result less effort, my parents give-up and asked me to put my profile on matrimonial websites….my friends gave similar suggestions. Few even suggested website names and cool “about me” description. Decision was taken and I opened www.shaadi.com with confidence. Login page asked for very basic information and I found it pretty easy to register. I quickly entered all those info and clicked Submit. Then I was like WTF!!! Next page was asking a hell lot of information…my confidence vanished within seconds and I almost felt dizziness. I give-up, I can’t fill all this.
My friends came to my rescue and they filled all the information including photos, hobbies, horoscope, activities I do, about me, partner preferences blah blah….finally my profile was live on shaadi.com. Creating profiles on other matrimony sites was easy…. Copy-paste feature of windows has done the trick. Soulmate search was on….and very soon I started getting calls. Oh God mercy….this was again an embarrassing thing to do. Taking calls of my would-be in-laws, irrespective of the time and place I am. On top it they used to ask questions like “Have you seen her photos?” “Pasand aayi?”…..honestly speaking I felt very embarrassing and don’t know what to answer. I was looking for a family not any commodity.
Login to websites and search for suitable match was another difficult task to do. Websites show some suggested beautiful faces on right hand side and I clicked on one of them….then on next one and then another one. After some 5-6 clicks, I realized I was looking at some Punjabi or Agarwal or any other caste girl except mine.
History is witness that lazy person always come with innovative and optimized way of doing things and I was not an exception. That day I also realized that most innovative ideas come during the process of releasing left-over from your body; early in the morning. One fine day at the same venue I got a brilliant idea. I login to shaadi.com, made a search with age range, height range, caste and photo visible to all. Then select all and send interest. Now sit relaxed and wait for acceptance. Contact only those who have accepted your interest and you find interesting. This was an experiment on shaadi.com and if this works….I was planning to roll-out on other websites. Luckily I got some acceptance, and I started meeting with girls and their family to take things forward.
Over a weekend, I made a trip to Bangalore to meet a couple of girls; One on Saturday and one on Sunday. Saturday was through website and Sunday was through family contacts.
On Saturday, I met her family and found them nice. Then I had 1:1 discussion with her. After some 10 minutes of meeting, she said She want to be in Bangalore for all her life and she will never go Bihar even for a day. A went to mute mode with mouth wide open. Did I hear correctly what she said or it’s just my imagination? I made some unsuccessful attempts with all my management skills to convince her that her conditions are not possible for me or any guy for that matter. But she, like a client with unclear requirements, chooses to refuse all my logics and I found a way to escape.
I met Sunday in a mall. She came with her brother. After some 2-3 minutes, her brother suggested that we should talk in private and meanwhile he will take a walk. After a hi-hello, I asked her about the kind of guy she is looking for. She said she doesn’t have a type and she will marry to whosoever her parents will choose. “Do you have any questions for me?” – I made another attempt. No…I got shortest possible answer. “Then why are you making your brother roaming here and there. Call him” – I summarized.
One morning I got a whatsapp message that she got my number from a matrimonial site and want to talk for that matter. I called her and we started talking. After some time, she told me “her most important wish” that she doesn’t want a kid atleast for the first 7-8 years. Hmmmm….that’s brilliant. You don’t want to have kids for 7-8 years and then we won’t have them. It was nice talking to you…Better search for a juvenile and I disconnected.
Pune 2: Again a whatsapp message. Pune girls have exceeded my expectations I must say. Completely shaken by the previous experience, I preferred to continue on chat.
“I hope your parents won’t stay with us” – She casually asked.
“Not sure. It’s totally upto them” – I was even more casual.
“But they should not stay with us for more than a week” – Not so casual this time.
“Why so?” – I shifted from casual to curious mode.
“If they will stay with us, then how we will go to Disc and Pub?” – She was furious more than casual.
“What!! Where we will go?” – Not sure which mode I was in
“You go to disc and pub right?” – She asked hoping for a positive response
“I hope you don’t drink too much” – I found asking if she drink or not completely stupid. So I preferred to ask for frequency and quantity.
“Hahahaha…..I don’t drink at all” – Trying to be funny and informative
“Ok…that’s good” – this is what I said.
“Then you go to disc and Pub for Satsang and Mata ka Jagraata?” – This is what I wanted to ask
“I don’t want to make any promise that I can’t keep. My parents might stay with me for a longer period. So better we should stop this here” – I said and disconnected.
Her father visited my home and met my father a couple of times and it was almost fixed. I went to Chennai to complete a formality to meet her in person. Meeting went well and her father said they liked me as well and they will proceed with horoscope matching and will finalize the dates soon.
Later her father told me over phone that only 17.5 guns has matched and a minimum of 18 gun matching is required for a happy marriage. I gave a counter logic saying Ram-Sita got 36 gun matching and in result they went for 14 years of forest honeymoon. This story end here
Back at home:
One my potential mother-in-law visited my home for marriage purpose and she proudly declared that they are very modern and if their son (That’s me) wants, he can go for a day long tour to Bodhgaya with her daughter for better understanding. My father, completely shocked, said his son will go for a tour of London but only after marriage. Poor me! I didn’t get an opportunity to meet such a super cool and very modern (In her words) mother-in-law.
One day Puru got an expression of interest from a girl and he took me through her profile. In her profile pic, she was sitting on a chair in black dress. She was stunning and amazingly beautiful. I felt an unusual sensation deep within by looking at that profile picture. I quickly note down the profile id and website name. Fucking shit…what I am doing on shaadi.com when all beauty is on jeevansathi. It’s high time to make Jeevansathi.com my primary website for soulmate search. I immediately login to my profile and searched for her profile id. There she was. The most beautiful girl I have seen on matrimony site. I quickly bookmarked her profile for easy access and used to visit her profile atleast once daily.
Intentionally I didn’t send her expression of interest and followed puru’s logic of visit girl’s profile until you get expression of interest from her. Also, I feared of getting a rejection if I send interest. In that case I won’t be able to contact her again until I create a new profile. I visited her profile atleast daily for nearly 4-5 months until I give-up.
“To hell with your logic Puru. I will keep visiting her profile and she will get married to someone else” – I thought and send expression of interest that got accepted very next day.
After a couple of days, I got call from her father and we talked for a while on my family background, my education and my work. He said he will discuss on my profile with his family members and will call me back. Then we talked few more times after that and I gave him my father’s number to have talk on family level and take things forward. Her father met my father and luckily both liked each other. On top of it, they discovered few common people between both the families and things went forward with speed.
Her father gave me her number and I talked to her for some time. Oh what an amazing voice she has. I was totally flattered. Soon I made a plan to visit Delhi to meet that beautiful girl in person. I reached Delhi on 15thFeb (I remember the date as that was next day of Valentine’s Day) and there she was, right in front of my eyes. I must say, her pictures were not as beautiful as she was in person. She was accompanied with her mother and uncle. I was trying to exchange a gaze with her and everytime I tried doing this, I found her mother looking at me as if she was trying to say “How dare you stare at my daughter like this”. That soup was pathetic I must say.
Meeting got over and I was escorted by her uncle to metro station and he asked if it’s yes from my side to take things forward.
“Are you kidding me? Can’t you see blush on my face? It’s big yes” – I thought of saying.
“Yes! But first ask her opinion. If it’s yes from her then talk to my father and proceed further” – this is what I actually said, hoping she will say yes.
In a couple of day’s I heard that she said yes and my soulmate search came to such a beautiful and amazing end. Lucky me
PS: I was supposed to meet another girl in Delhi on next day but I preferred to let it go as I was not sure of spending my life with her due to some weird routine of her. Yoga for an hour every morning and chant “OM” for 30 minutes everynight before sleeping for inner peace. I am not sure what inner thing she was referring to.
Disclaimer – This is not meant to hurt or make fun of someone. Every individual is created differently by God and any similarity is purely a coincidence.